Diabetic Bad Mood :(

My husband is diabetic with uncontrolled blood sugar often in the 300-400 range.  Mostly he is ok, but sometimes, he gets depressed, into a very bad mood.  He's like that right now.  It's been this way for nearly a week and I am beginning to think I can't take much more.  He's nasty and dejected at the same time.  We have no health insurance and he can't get help to control his blood sugars, and I'm sorry to lay it all out here, but my heart is hurting and I just need an outlet -- so please stop reading if you're sensitive to this kind of post.

Our daughter has been offered the opportunity to try out for a very good softball travel team, and she is so excited.  My husband's response?  I'm happy for her, but if she makes it, it'll cost too much, and we'll just end up letting her down. 

I find myself thinking sometimes that I just can't take anymore.  I dream of running away and never looking back.  We have three kids together and I couldn't leave them -- but I couldn't take them from him either. ;(

I think I'm going to take a shower and have a good cry, and maybe things will look better later.

Sorry for the whining.

I love sweepstakes, giveaways, bargins, and coupons ...

I have a bit of an addiction.  No, I don't think I need to go through recovery -- there will be no rehab for me, all I need is an internet access point and a computer, and mostly, I am good.  The craving hits me at odd times -- I'll wake up at 2 a.m. with "the itch."  After a long day, it's all I can think about.  I have to do it.  I just have to.  What am I talking about?  Sweepstakes, giveways, freebies, coupons, bargain shopping -- all of them.  I simply cannot stand to think about what I might have missed if I don't look on the internet for these things at least once or twice a day.
That brings me to Becca's Backyard.  She is giving away a $25 Kroger card!  I live 2 minutes from Kroger and I do all my grocery shopping there.  Of course, it's not as easy as walking in and picking up what I need, because Kroger has these mysterious specials -- you can get a loaf of bread for .59 cents -- donuts for less than a dollar, milk sometimes is marked down.  They have a brand of discount cola for .58 cents.  it's good, too!  I love Kroger almost as much as I love sweepstaking, bargain hunting and searching for coupons.  I think everyone should visit their local Kroger's, except for people who live near me, because then they'll snatch up my bargains.  Also, I think everyone should visit "Becca's Backyard" for the chance to win the Kroger giftcard -- but maybe you should wait until it's over -- so I can win (grin). www.beccasbackyard.blogspot.com.

In just 4 months ...

In just 4 months I will finally graduate college.  i'm 38 years old, I have three kids, and I have worked most of my life in jobs that don't pay.  Now, I will graduate college into an economy that is still struggling and maybe even getting worse.  I have so many choices to make -- grad school, try to find a job, take time off and go overseas to teach English, stay where I am, move ... It's such a hard decision to have to make.  The economy where I live is considerably worse than larger cities -- here, if you don't work medical or retail, you have no job.  I'm debating on grad school and like George Mason in the Arlington area of Virginia and also Cleveland State University in Ohio.  I find myself thinking I want to just get a job and work, and try to get some money into the bank, and then I discover the easiest path to do that would be working overseas where I could put as much as $1000 a month into the bank.  This blog is about the journey I am still to take and the decisions that I must make.  I hope yo don't mind adding your thoughts and advice every once in a while -- it might help me choose the right path! :)